n kre-bu txeu

A Mafaldinha às 32 semanas e 3 dias ...

2009-02-12T06:32:00.000-08:00

A Mafaldinha às 21 semanas e 3 dias ...

2008-12-09T11:34:00.001-08:00

A Mafaldinha às 13 semanas e 1 dia ...

2008-10-20T00:48:00.001-07:00

Elogio ao babywearing e ao aleitamento materno!

2008-10-20T00:46:00.000-07:00

So far away

2008-10-17T03:26:00.000-07:00

A Madonna escreveu esta porque eu lhe pedi. Não liguem aos boatos foleiros que dizem que foi a pensar no marido dela. Foi a pensar no meu! Eu é que encomendei :)

Miles Away
Madonna
Composição: Madonna / T. Mosley / J. Timberlake / N. Hills

I just woke up from a fuzzy dream
You never would believe those things that I had seen
I looked in the mirror and I saw your face
You looked right through me, you were miles away

All my dreams, they fade away
I'll never be the same
If you could see me the way you see yourself
I can't pretend to be someone else

You always love me more
Miles away
I hear it in your voice
We are miles away
You're not afraid to tell me
Miles away
I guess we're at our best
We are miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

When no one's around, then I have you here
I begin to see the picture, it becomes so clear
You always have the biggest heart
When we're six thousand miles apart

Too much of no sound
Uncomfortable silence can be so loud
Those three words are never enough
But it's now distance love

You always love me more
Miles away
I hear it in your voice
We're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me
Miles away
I guess we're at our best
We're miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

I'm alright, don't be sorry, but it's true
When I'm gone you'll realize
That I'm the best thing that happened to you

You always love me more
Miles away
I hear it in your voice
We're miles away
You're not afraid to tell me
Miles away
I guess we're at our best
We're miles away

So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away
So far away

The truth about cheating ...

2008-09-29T01:27:00.000-07:00

Can giving a man more attention stop him from cheating?

Posted by Kristina Sauerwein in Behavior, Divorce, Books, Dads, Sex and Relationships | September 19th, 2008 | Trackback

If you’re an Oprah watcher, you’ve probably been following the commontion over M. Gary Neuman’s controversial book, “The Truth About Cheating,” in which the rabbi and psychological expert on families, divorce and relationships offers this as one of the main reasons why a man cheats on his partner: They don’t get enough attention.
And by attention, we’re talking about pats on the back for the things they do. Not just the above-and-beyond things but everyday things, such as going to work.
The claim has angered many viewers, some of whom think Mr. Neuman is making excuses for cheating men. Some believe that men cheat because they just want sex. Other women are offended: With all that goes on in our busy lives, now we’re being told we have to baby our men by coddling his ego? And what about us? Goodness knows, we do so many things that go unrecognized by our loved ones. Can’t men–as the now-popular phrase goes–just “grow a pair,” in that they decided to get married and have kids and, yes, it can be rough but deal?
Honestly, I can see both sides. I don’t think a man’s cheating should be excused. And if he has problems with not feeling appreciated, then he needs to step up and work it out with his wife, even if that means going to counseling, which some men oppose.
Also, the last thing I want to add to my to-do list is to praise my husband for every little thing. Is that mean? Kinda. But I feel like I do praise him and appreciate him–and I’m exhausted and juggling a zillion things at once, too, and I would like little praise now and then. My husband, I’m sure, would say he does appreciate me and he would like more acknowledgment for the things he does. Seriously, most of our arguments boil down to one of us not feeling appreciated.
But as Mr. Neuman advised on Orpah: Just start appreciating your spouse more and, most likely, you’ll get it back. So that’s what I’m going to start doing.
Also, Mr. Neuman’s stance on Orpah was that he wasn’t excusing men; he was just providing insight to infidelity based on his research. And with more information, comes power for men and women to tackle a marital hurdle with the hopes of heading off divorce.
Meanwhile, what do you think about this issue? Are we excusing a man’s cheating ways? Or do we need to appreciate our guys more? And if so, how can we do that? Any men out there who’d like to weigh in? Anyone who’s cheated or been cheated on have any insight?

1. Lisa Z Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
Well, I believe he has a point. I know from experience that cheating equalled not enough attention. It had not gotten physical, but it was still a blow. DH & I sat down, talked & he said the reason it started was she paid attention to him. It was a shock to me. He explained it as part of an idenity crisis, here was someone who saw him as a man plain and simple, not a father or husband but a man. I can relate on that.. Don’t we all have to adjust to our new roles? It’s hard and I don’t excuse his behaivor and we are working hard to repair this tear in our marriage.

2. Sprite's Keeper Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
It’s fine to look into the sources behind cheating, the why’s and such. But excusing it? A big emphatic no. This should go for both men and women. I can only imagine the divorce lawyers getting an upsurge with this as a defense for infidelity.

3. polemama Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
I sort of think that he has a point, but in no way see this an excuse for stepping outside of your relationship (for men or women). We all need some sort of validation sometimes and our spouses tend to take a backseat to the kids, the house, the job and all the juggling we do to try to keep things balanced. And we’re all trying to live up to that super mommy role we’re bombarded with from the time we see that first positive pregnancy test, no pressure there :). It’s easy to get off track and stop acknowledging each others efforts and get caught up in one-upping each other.
DH and I have had some bumps in the road and when things got really sh!tty we sat down and took a good look at our issues and all the reasons we had to work it out. Our big issues were all so petty. We both made some changes and we now take more time to appreciate what the other offers to the equation. We take the time to say thanks to each other instead of assuming that the other person knows we appreciate what’s being done. Pretty simple and it does make a difference, plus it’s good for the kids to see us working as a team instead of just grinding our way through the day.

4. Nicole Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
There is probably more involved in cheating, like not loving your spouce, not being happy with the relationship. I do recognize my husbands help around the house, or involvment with kids especially when it is unexpected or if I have been really busy with work. But really, many women (myself included) work full time, take care of the house and kids, and get little from our husbands except “i have no clean socks”. And we dont turn to cheating. Everyone wants to be appreciated, but that is mostly a poor excuse for cheating.

5. Jackie Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I can see how not enough attention would lead to cheating. Some days I get annoyed that all I can contribute to a conversation with my husband is what our daughter did during the day. I try to read interesting articles and talk with friends so that we can have interesting conversations together and feel like we are connecting on a level besides being parents. That’s the kind of attention that benefits both of us.

6. Jenny Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
I think it goes both ways with the attention thing. I definitely know some women who absolutely crave attention and I think if their spouse wasn’t giving them enough, they would definitely go somewhere else to find it. I think its the same for some men. SOME women and SOME men. I don’t think ALL people are going to cheat despite what the statistics say. Is it possible? Yes..however I think people put themselves in situations that can lead to cheating. It starts of platonic, moves into sharing secrets, then before you know it romance kicks in. I think spending time together with the family, as well as a couple nights out when you get the chance is good for couples. Life gets busy and people don’t always think to say thank you..but I think surprising that someone every once in awhile and making sure you tell them you love them is a great way of giving attention, as is just chilling out and spending quality time with one another. All in all I think some people just have those personalities/traits that will lead them to cheating much faster then others.

7. Lindsay Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
This whole subject is very upsetting to me. I hit the ground running at 6 am taking care of the kids and getting them ready for daycare since my husband has already gone to work. Then I go to my full time 9am-6pm job to help make ends meet, and then I get home in time to help with dinner, bathes, and bedtime. By the time 8:30 rolls around I have very little energy and no “me time”. I feel like I have spent all day meeting everyone else’s demands and needs. Then my husband wants me to start paying attention to him and meeting his needs. It makes me feel like I am not allowed to every have my own needs (i.e time to relax) met and now they are saying it could be my fault if he cheats? How are women suppose to be everything to everyone. It is just extremely frustrating.

8. Dee Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 2:54 pm
I’m not sure about this I didn’t see the episode of Oprah or read the book I’m sure there is valid research that led to this conclusion. I definitely identify with Nicole. When my husband says I have no clean socks I just want to punch him in the face. I definitely identify with Lindsay as well. But I can see the value of trying to appreciate each other being good for a marriage in both directions. I think we could say on some level that makes sense and is a no brainer, but to be told to purposefully put it on the “to do” list I don’t know.

9. Stacey Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
There is no excuse for cheating!! However, men are presented with temptation from every angle in our culture. There is no shame in being tempted, only in GIVING IN to the temptation, whether in thought or deed. So… if there is some way I can help alleviate the temptaion for my husband, I think I had better do it. If he cheats on me, that is HIS wrongdoing. But, I think that if I am neglecting his needs, I am doing wrong to him, too. If my husband ever cheats on me, I want to know that I did all I could to meet his needs.
I want to be loved and he wants to be honored. there are so many ways to honor (and even more ways to DIShonor) him. I have noticed that, the more I go out of my way to honor him, the more he naturally goes out of his way to show me love. I am amazed at how much power we women have in our marriages when we will bite the bullet and give our husbands the honor they crave, whether they deserve it or not. In time, I think that most of them will do their best to make sure that they do deserve it. Just my experience and my two cents!!!

10. Betsy Shaw Says:

September 19th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
I always liked Olympia Dukakis’ philosophy on philandering men from the movie Moonstruck. “Why do men chase women?” “Because they fear death that’s why.”
And what of women who cheat? Why do they do it? Are their reasons different from mens’reasons.

11. Donna Wilson Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 6:07 am
I think it makes perfect sense and as a woman I felt the exact same way–my husband was giving me so little attention and appreciation that I was starving for it from any other source and almost had an affair. While they say you shouldn’t blame the other spouse, if you have nicely asked for changed, even pleaded for it, and you live without love and kindness, it isn’t a stretch to think that deprived person would be desiring positive input from another source.

12. amanda Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
i would agree with this line of argument if it were 1950 when the husband was the only one who worked… patting a man on the back for doing what he SHOULD do is ludicrous to me, especially when we live in a time period that basically ridicules any woman who isn’t “supermom.” why should women be made to feel inadequate if they’re not working a good job, cooking a great dinner, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, going to playdates and PTA meetings, and looking like a super model, but for men, just going to work and watching football is cause for such gratitude? if a husband is going to cheat because he doesn’t get enough attention– maybe he should get something else to do– like help his wife out with everything he does. let’s see if he has the energy to cheat after being her for a day!

13. Anonymous Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
I completely relate to all the women who said, “How are women supposed to be everything to everyone? When is it time for us to get our needs met?” My husband cheated on me when our baby was just one month old. It was a total shock because he was always so devoted to me and so excited to be a dad. Our baby had colic and it was such a shock to him how different the reality of having a baby was compared to his ideal vision. He got overwhelmed and felt ignored, so he went out one time, got drunk and cheated. He did say he felt like he wasn’t getting appreciated for a long time before she was born too.
He knows now how stupid and childish this idea is of feeling ignored. There are NO EXCUSES for cheating and he knows this now. He felt like a “scum bag” in his words for what he did and has tried very hard to make it up to us. He is a very devoted father now and was actually the primary caregiver while I went back to work full time when she was just 3 months old.
I can’t say it has been easy, but we are working through it. It has been very hard to forgive him, but I am trying because I know he is doing everything he can to show how sorry he is. He doesn’t want to loose his family. We read the book, “After the Affair” by Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring. It was helpful along with counseling initially.
We are now working on the parts of our relationship that were broken before this happened, such as communication about how we are feeling and learning to interact positively and not bicker about things. We were going to counseling and now we are going to start back up again. More than anything, we are trying to overcome the difficult childhoods we ourselves had. I read the book “Toxic Parents” by Dr. Susan Forward and he is reading it too. That has helped me learn how not to repeat my parents patterns and thus, pass them onto my daughter in her relationships.
If you have been cheated on, I feel your pain. See if you can discover what kind of cheater he was (there are different types of affairs- such as the “Repeat offender” vs. the one time ‘I messed up big time’ cheater). Finding a good marriage counselor can help you identify this. Try not to torture yourself by replaying what you could have done differently- IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!! It was his mess up, NOT yours! Yes, there are things you can do to make your life together better and you should do them- BOTH of you. Hang in there. And if he does it again (and again), DUMP that LOSER and find a man that appreciates you.

14. Gina Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I don’t agree, every man is different; some just can’t help themselves. I used to give this ex of mine all attention, being the most supportive woman to him, being “too nice’. I found out later he cheated on me, but eventually we decided to give the relationship another try.
I wasn’t much into the relationship anymore, and did not give me NO attention when we got back together, amazingly he became a different person, always wanted to be there for me, feeling insecure that I would leave him.
I think some men just like the game, the less attention you give him, the more he’ll chase you around.

15. Heather Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Um….attention is kinda the reason, I guess. It would start out that way. But they choose to cheat. Instead of, I don’t know, talking to their spouse/significant other. It’s easier to get laid than to talk. That’s why. The need for attention may have sparked it, but when I’m not feeling noticed, I say something, not do someone.
Of course, there are people out there who cheat, and it has aboslutely nothing to do with attention or lack thereof. Either way, there is no excusing cheating. Ever. Unless you married an identical twin and didn’t know it, and they didn’t tell you first just to get you in trouble. And even then, you should know little idiocencricies about your partner and notice that it wasn’t him/her. So no exceptions. Nice try Neuman.

16. heather Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
My husband hasn’t cheated on me but I do have something to say about “men not getting enough attention”. i just went back to work about 2 months ago after being a SAHM for 2 years. while my husband worked(he’s not working right now), I took care of the kids and house(cook, clean). AND I took care of him. He had as much attention as the babies did. Now he takes care of the kids while I work but I take over caring for them while I’m at home. AND he still wants me to take care of him. I had no problem doing it when he was working but now it seems like alot of extra work for me to take care of him too. He even gets jealous, moody, and angry. We have been fighting alot lately and he even TOLD me that he isn’t getting enough attention. I think he needs to grow up and take care of himself and his kids. Is this wrong? No one takes care of me…But I’m not gonna cheat on him, and if he cheats on me I will not even listen to his reason/excuses.

17. mary Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
A cheat will cheat, no matter what is going on. A wife should never become a second mother to her husband.

18. Tiffany Says:

September 20th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Hi Ladies
I first want to start out by saying there is NO EXCUSE for cheating!!! BUT I agree that giving your man attention and stroking or petting his ego is very important. You can say what you like. My husband and I have been together for 13 yrs and are a/b to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversay next month. We have a very healthy relationship and have never experienced cheating on either end. I’m sure a lot of you may not like my 2 cents or like me after this blog and that’s fine, but I just want to help some of you who seem to have no idea what MARRIAGE and RELATIONSHIP is a/b! Now, I do agree with all of you to some extent b/c there are definitely times that I feel the same way you guys feel a/b him telling me he doesn’t have clean socks!! And most times my reponse is “well you better get to washing some then!” I take care of our home and our 3 girls full time(a 3YO and 10MO twins might I add) so needless to say I stay busy from the time I wake up til I go to bed which is usually not before 2am. I explain to him that I don’t get to clock out at the end of the “shift” like he does b/c my job is 24/7. My husband and I are best friends and we talk a/b everything no matter how big or small, we spend quality time together, and we share the responsibilties of our kids and chores in the house when he’s not working. So when I feel overwhelmed and burnt out, I let him know so he can step it up!! I watched the marriage of someone very close to me fall apart and I saw the same thing in her marriage that I hear from a lot of you! She would say how she didn’t have time to baby-sit him on top of all the other things she had to do all day, but now she’s on her way to divorce b/c she got tired of his cheating. “I take care of the kids and I work full time” and all of that is lovely. And BUT did you ever stop cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids long enough to consider that he may need some love and affection too?? You do stuff all day for your kids, but would you want to punch them in the face if they asked for clean socks? You work all day but do you neglect your children and tell them you’re too tired to give them love and affection when they need it? You know what a lot of women, like my friend, don’t understand is that taking care of your man and giving him attention is not always a/b all of those things you do for him like cooking, cleaning and laundry or sex for that matter. Those things are nice, and i’m sure he does appreciate them but it’s really a/b simply saying, “I love you. I appreciate you. Or Baby, you are the best car washer or grass cutter in the world.” Marriage is a/b give and take, UNCONDITIONAL love, caring and sharing, etc. To say the least, it is a FULL TIME JOB that needs just as much time, effort, and energy as all of those other things you’re doing all day everyday! All I’m saying is, just like Stacey said, the more she honors her husband the more he gives her what she needs. I also agree with her saying that there are a lot of temptations out there, so if you can help your marriage by giving him a little attention and affection, why not? He may not feel the urge to indulge in those temptations if he’s getting what he needs at home! Keep in mind that what YOU don’t do for him, there are plenty chicks out there lined up to do it for you! And they don’t care that he has a family at home! Sad, but true. Now understand that again I’m not saying that it is ok under ANY cicumstance for a man to cheat, but I always say that at least I know I did everything I could to satify him and keep him happy. So then I KNOW it would be his own sefishness and stupidity if mine decided to step out on me! A lot of you say “Well he can talk to his spouse instead of getting laid” but since you guys are sooooooo busy would you even have a minute to sit down and listen to him if he did have a prob and came to talk to you. OR how well do you even know him?? How does he handle everything else in his life? Is he always vocal a/b things or does he keep things bottled up? If he’s not a talker he may not tell you that there’s a problem. Would you even notice that something’s not right? Knowing your man, letting him know he can talk to you, and LISTENING to him is crutial to having a healthy relationship. Communication is key. Do you ever sit down to listen to even the smallest things he has to say? My husband comes home every morning (he works 3rd shift) and wants to tell me a/b all that crap that goes on at his job like I really care. But I listen and act like it’s the most interesting stuff i’ve every heard. It simply keeps the lines of communication open, makes him comfortable talking to me and let’s him know that i’m always ready and willing to listen. That way he knows he can talk to me a/b other things too. I know that we get frustrated sometimes but I promise you that if you make an effort to focus on him a little more, you’ll be amazed at his response. He’ll be saying “Let me get for you, Honey.” or “Why don’t you go out today and do something for you.” OR “Let’s call the sitter so we can spend some quality time together tonight.” I’m a living witness!! I just want to suggest some things helped my marriage and more so, me and my negative attitudes toward my husband when I wanted to punch him in the face. (See i’ve been there too, lol). PRAYER and two GREAT books; Understand Your Man by Tim LaHaye and The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I don’t want to pretend that I have it all together and never needed any help. It is only God that helps me have the marriage that I have today.

19. Jenna Says:

September 21st, 2008 at 1:09 am
I think that it is very interesting to have the research on the topic, from the source, men who have cheated. What I think it really comes down to is respect. Even if you feel that you are not getting something out of the relationship, such as enough praise and thanks for things that you do, then you need to tell your partner about it. What is marriage without communication? There must be a moment that you can say, wait this is going down a road that it shouldn’t, that I shouldn’t. And then see how did I get here. If I am feeling this way, I need to be open with my spouse. It just shows such a lack of respect for your wife/husband to check out of the marriage.

20. Jenny Says:

September 21st, 2008 at 4:25 am
I agree with the book “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman…awesome book! Just makes you aware of certain things in a marriage that can easily be overlooked. I was telling my husband about the Oprah show and he said that not getting enough attention is a cop out for men. I totally agree. I think it goes both ways. Women can also feel very neglected with their husbands working late and not getting the appreciation they deserve. I think some people (men and women) will cheat and others won’t. However anyone that is going to make the excuse of “My wife didn’t give me enough attention” is completely weak and worthless. In my opinion, if your spouses isn’t giving you enough attention, sit back and look at the whole picture..what could you do to help out..why is your spouse distracted..talk to your spouse. This is common sense! Marriage is a wonderful thing and should be respected and cherised…unfortunately some people do not take their vows seriously and when the going gets tough…they bail. Its so very sad.

21. Nicole Says:

September 21st, 2008 at 9:34 am
I dont think we have to “pet their ego” or praise them for going to work. I think if we as women let our men know we love them and want to be with them (unless they are a compulsive cheater) things should be fine.
My hubby and I make dates. We take a day off work, send the kids to the sitter, and go to lunch and a movie.
For me knowing I am loved and wanted is more important than being praised for every little thing (that would get annoying).

22. Candace Says:

September 21st, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I will get a lot of flack for this, I’m sure. I truly believe that men who cheat, cheat because they arent getting something physically, sexually, emotionally. Whether you’ve “let yourself go”, not affectionate, or pay more attention to the kids. I’m not saying all men cheat because they are not treated right because surely that is not the case. However, when we signed up to be mothers and wives we knew we would have to satisfy both requirements. I get busy with taking care of an infant, full time college student, driving an hour to help my grandma, laundry, making food, grocery shopping but my husband always deserves to have his “de stress” time (which is love making). I would not feel like I was doing my duty as a loving wife if I was not fulfilling him in that way. At least I would not have ANY regrets about how I pampered him and treated him how he was suppose to be treated.

23. Mimi Says:

September 21st, 2008 at 9:25 pm
I’d like to see the day there’s a book that lectures men about how they need to take better care of their wives… more attention, more satisfying their needs, more helping out around the house… using the one or two free hours in their busy daily schedule to cater to their wives’ happiness and not their own. I’d like to see a special on that: how can men be better husbands, to keep their wives happy and relaxed?
Until then, excuse me if my response is: oh, PLEASE…

24. southerngirl Says:

September 21st, 2008 at 10:42 pm
I have to agree with mimi she took the words right out of my mouth.

25. Melissa Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 12:19 am
No excuse for cheating- whatsoever. That being said, OH it is such a CHORE to stroke my hubby’s ego.—-Wait a minute, no it’s not. All it takes is a couple of seconds here and there throuout the day, and he feels like superman. And it comes back around. Plus, my marriage is definately worth it. Isn’t yours?

26. andrea Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 2:16 am
lol I read this to my husband and he said if I gave him that much attention he would be annoyed and he likes his space.(I do too) He would rather spend time watching a Dodger’s game than be cheating. He is kind of a goof ball and said,” I can barely handle getting in trouble and yelled at by my wife,why would I want another headache. Don’t get married if you are going to cheat.”

27. Jill Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 6:44 am
My husband cheated… we were (are) having problems in our marriage, stemming from a lot of things. Since then, while I stayed with him, I find his behaviour has not changed. He is still on the same chat site- which I wouldn’t mind as I am on the same one to stay in contact with friends and make new ones, difference being that I point out from the beginning that I am married and committed- I’m not so sure he does the same. He is allowed to use my phone when and how he pleases, I am not allowed to do the same with his phone- he goes so far as to lock his phone applications so that even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.
I feel that I do give him attention, I try to show him affection, which he rejects. He has not told me he loves me in… I’m guessing about three years. I would be okay with this if he at least showed me that he loved me, but all I get from him is contempt. I am constantly made to feel that I am to blame- not in what he says but in how he treats me. I honestly feel that I mean nothing to him.
And with all of that, I have not cheated and will not cheat. That is not to say that I haven’t had the opportunity, but I chose and choose not to. So while I understand that feeling unappreciated may make you feel the “need” to cheat, the choice is still yours to make whether to actually do it or not. It all depends on which means more to you- a moment with someone else or a lifetime with your family. I CHOOSE THE LATTER!

28. Lynnsey Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 10:29 am
A man, who is usually truthful and insightful about these things, once told me that men cheat because they have the opportunity to do so…that it has almost nothing to do with the quality of the woman he has or her affection/attention/amazing sexual prowess/fantastic cooking. They don’t do it with hurting her in mind, they do it with “getting theirs” in mind. I think he’s right. I think women believe that it’s because men aren’t getting what they need because that’s why we would cheat. It’s easier for us to believe that they cheat because they need something else that they’re not getting from us.

29. Anonymous Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 11:31 am
The article on Oprah’s site really made me think. It said that initiating sex for them is like getting flowers would be for us. I’ve been complaining for a while that I never get flowers…. I also never initiate sex. That gave me something to think about. And Jill, wow I wish your situation was better, but I have to say, you’ve made me think about mine a little more. my husband has been driving me crazy with his procrastination and the fact that he spends $400 a month on cigarettes when our financial situation is pretty rocky. And yet, he tells me every day that he loves me. He really is great, and thanks to all of you (Tiffany - loved your post) for making me realize that if i treat him the way he deserves, his behavior might change for the better. Maybe the fact that i nag him about spending all that money, and i constantly nag him about not helping me around the house are actually the reasons that he doesn’t do well in those areas. I am telling you girls, I am turning over a new leaf and I will be initiating something tonight!!!! Thanks! And as for Jill or situations like that, maybe there are some men who are just going to cheat, and maybe some marriages do need to end. For the rest of us, didn’t we marry him thinking he was great? Where and why did we lose that? Thanks Melissa - My marriage IS worth it.

30. Anonymous Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 11:37 am
Oh and Mimi - yes they do need a book like that. Hopefully some woman will have the time to write it….. somehow i doubt that! LOL

31. Kristina Sauerwein Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 11:48 am
Interesting comments, ladies. I feel the same way as so many of you. I keep going back and forth on the issue. I did try more complimenting this past weekend and I don’t know if it soaked thru.
Jill, (#27), I’m so sorry for your situation. I wish you didn’t feel like you were to blame for his behavior, because that’s so not true. Have you tried couseling? Even if he won’t go, it might help YOU to just talk about stuff?
Mimi, (#23), I’d like to see a book on that too. But there probably won’t be one written because not as many guys buy those types of books like women do.

32. Yolanda Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
there is no reason for a man to cheat. sometimes i feel that he does not appreciate me so does that mean i can go out and cheat.Men need to step up and grow a pair and appreciate the good thing they have at home. and if they feel teh need to cheat then it will definitely be over.

33. Amber Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 4:43 pm
I have been Cheated on by my ex to many times (thats partly why he is an ex). I spoiled that man, gave him a child, washed his clothes, made his meals, raised our child, and told him EVERYDAY that I loved him and appreciated him and all his hard work. All of that while being a full time college student and working a full time night shift job. What happend? I rubed his back and feet and spoiled him every day some way or another only to find him cheating on me anyway. I thought I gave him everything, I even kept the house so clean that you could eat off the floor. I juggled everything and satisfied him in every way possible(even sexually on a nightly bases)! I was cheated on because he felt unappreciated? B.S!!!! Needless to say, he is an ex and I have learned my lesson in how to treat a man! I am not against showing a little extra love to your significant other but like the others have said, Most men need to GROW UP, we have plenty of other things to worry about and if we want another CHILD to take care of, then we will have one instead of being married to one. By the way, Women have a pair, they aren’t below the waist, they are on our chest and much prettier too! My Husband now compleatly agrees with me, I spoiled him twice this week, taking him out to dinner and to get a massage with me, I tell him thank you for all his work and such, and he does the same for me but, never again will I be walked all over by a man, and I hate that this is being used as an excuse for Cheating. If I would have cheated on him due to lack of appreciation he would have not excussed it or over looked it or even appologized for it! He would have been telling me to get the heck ot and not to come back! Isn’t it funny how Men have huge doubble standards when it comes to things they can do but thier spoces can’t?!?!??!?

34. Kathryn Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 6:52 pm
Tiffany - Great Post! When my DH and I got married 2 years ago, our pastor asked me to read a book by Dr. Laura Sleshlinger (I didn’t come close to spelling her last name right!). And although I didn’t agree, and neither did he, with a lot of what she said in that book, there were a lot of good points, many of which you pointed out in your post. Even after two years of marriage to a very independent man, he even does his own laundry, does the dishes, mows the lawn, works full time and goes to school part time, there are still things that I’m learning about marriage…I don’t believe that my husband would ever step out on me, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure if it happens (God forbid) that it’s not because I was the type of wife who couldn’t even thank my husband for rubbing my back while I threw up in our front yard at 10 weeks prego! And yes, that happened just last night! Someone made a comment about initiating sex is like when they bring us home flowers…he may not bring me home flowers, but he does most of the chores at home…same thing…I’ll be initiating more sex from now on! I will also be reading those books that you mentioned. God Bless!

35. Tiffany Says:

September 22nd, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Hi again Ladies,
Thanks to those of you who appreciated my post. This is one of my favorite subjects!! Kathryn, I haven’t read that book that you’re talking a/b but if you can email me at tyvan2@yahoo.com the name of the book I will look for it. I’m always up for a good read even though I don’t have much time these days. Also congrats on your little one!! Is this your first? It sounds like you landed a good one(wink). God bless your marriage and your new addition. If you ever need any advice or other good books to read don’t hesitate to use that email.
Anonymous (#29) & Melissa: I love your outlook! Great posts! #29, Situations like yours can be tough and we do have a tendency to nag but give it time, Girl, I’m sure with your attitude things will work out just fine!
Jill and Amber: I’m sorry you guys had to experience your situations. My first post was really in resp to the ones who acted like it was such a chore to love and respect your husband, but your situations are different. It sounds like you guys did and are doing everything you can to please these guys. God bless you and your husband Jill. I hope everything works out for you two. And Amber i’m glad you found someone who knows how to love and appreciate his gift-You!

36. Jill Says:

September 23rd, 2008 at 10:09 am
Thank you for your support ladies.
Kristina, firstly I know I’m not to blame, he just tries to make me feel that way. Secondly- I am a certified counsellor, I think sometimes self analysis is the only way I cope!
I think I maybe should’ve added that while things are better than they were a year ago, it is still not the way it was before we were married, and that’s the part that hurts. That was the person that told me that he loved me whenever he felt like it, would rush home from wherever he was because I was waiting for him at home… that’s the person I want back, and I sometimes wonder if I ever will get him back.
But I still know (hope) that all is not lost which is why I stay. And of course as far as I know for sure he has only cheated once, and once can be forgiven, I think… there’s just all this other ((stuff)) that goes along with it that needs to be sorted out.
Tiffany, I personally didn’t take any offence in what you said… but I generally don’t take offence with anything! Thank you for the blessing.

Cabo Verde, Marte

2008-09-23T05:18:00.000-07:00

A promontory nicknamed Cape Verde can be seen jutting out from the walls of Victoria Crater in this false-color image taken by the panoramic camera on NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Opportunity. The rover took this picture on Martian day, or sol, 1329 (Oct. 20, 2007), more than a month after it began descending down the crater walls -- and just 9 sols shy of its second Martian birthday on sol 1338 (Oct. 29, 2007). Opportunity landed on the Red Planet on Jan. 25, 2004. That's nearly four years ago on Earth, but only two on Mars because Mars takes longer to travel around the sun than Earth. One Martian year equals 687 Earth days.

Image Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/Cornell

A Rua Miguel Bombarda está um ESTOURO!

2008-09-23T01:27:00.000-07:00

Desde o centro comercial alternativo CCB, às galerias de arte, passando pelos grafittis a renovadíssima Rua Miguel Bombarda está fantástica! Não fossem os passeios estreitos e dentro de alguns anitos rivalizava com Las Ramblas! Amei! Bem como todas as ruas envolventes. Deixo-vos algumas imagens!

Chegou o Outono!

2008-09-22T05:08:00.000-07:00

Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.

2008-09-19T01:40:00.000-07:00

9 semanas e 1/2

2008-09-19T01:04:00.000-07:00

Caras amigas! Deixo aqui, para registo para a posteridade, a minha barriga às 9 semanas e 4 dias ... que acham? serão gémeos?

Guarda Cabeça

2008-09-11T03:33:00.000-07:00

Na noite que antecede o sétimo dia após o nascimento de uma criança, as bruxas vêm buscá-la. É costume parentes e amigos passarem a noite em redor do recém nascido para o protegerem. Actualmente o costume começa a perder-se ou, pior ainda, a adulterar-se. Quando foi do "SETE" do Roberto fiquei num apartamento T1 com várias dezenas de desconhecidos que me empurravam e olhavam para mim de lado por não saberem quem eu era. Alguns, mais educados, acabaram por pedir desculpa por não terem reconhecido a "Dona do bébé"...
Foi um filme de terror! Mais uma ocasião em que gente oportunista se junta para comer de borla. Já na Sofia aparecerem duas pessoas e, pasmem-se, trouxeram prendas ...
Estas tradições não combinam comigo, sou demasiado sociopata para tal.
Mas a tradição "não adulterada" era gira ... até existe uma cantiga especial para a ocasião ...chama-se "Ná, Ó Menino ná"

Ô rosto doce de odjo maguado,
Es bo cudado
Botal pa traz
Nhor Dés ta dano um bida de paz
De odjo maguado

Ná, ô menino ná.
sombra rum fuji de li!
Ná, ô menino ná,
Dixa nha fidjo dormi

Sono de bida, sonho de amor
Ou graça, ou dor,
Es ê nós sorte...
Se Deus, más logo, mandano morte,
Quem que tem medo
Ta morrê cedo.

Toma nha ombro, encosta cabeça
Já n'dabo peto,
Amá "ragaz"
Ô espirito doce, ca bo tem pressa
Deta cu jeito
Dormi na paz

Não resisti ...

2008-09-10T02:22:00.001-07:00

Amigas, não resisti! Perante o dilema optei pela mão direita ... eu sempre adorei chocolate, como poderia não aproveitar as oportunidades que me aparecem pela frente?

Mamma Mia

2008-09-09T02:55:00.000-07:00

Queridas, fui ver o Mamma Mia no sábado à noite. Para além da minha quase "arqueológica" relação com a Grécia, o meu cantinho preferido em todo o Universo, identifico-me a 1000% (perdoem-me os meus colegas engenheiros pela impreceisão, mas é uma figura de estilo) com uma das músicas dos ABBA. Precisamente a que deu nome ao filme :)

I've been cheated by you since I don't know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I don't know how but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

I've been angry and sad about the things that you do
I can't count all the times that I've told you we're through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you won't be away too long
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
mamma mia, it's a game we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much I've missed you
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

Vida de gente só ...

2008-08-30T07:55:00.001-07:00

Ainda há poucos dias fui a casa da minha irmã. Ela divorciou-se há pouco tempo e anda a ***** um tipo casado e com filhos. Fartou-se de falar no Carlos. E eu fiquei chocada. Chamem-me conservadora, chamem-me antiquada mas que fazer? A minha pele arrepiou-se à medida que a rapariga ia enumerando as ofertas que o amante lhe tinha feito. Só conseguia pensar na desgraçada da mulher do dito cujo a fazer as contas, a somar as despesas e a chegar à conclusão que a família tinha de começar a apertar o cinto, sem imaginar que grande parte da verba tinha sido gasta com A OUTRA. E o que mais me chocou? Quando ela contou que a meio de um jantar de trabalho um tipo da florista lhe tinha vindo entregar um enooorme ramo de flores. E que enquanto ela estava sentada perplexa a pensar se teria sido algum engano, o Carlos lhe telefona a perguntar se tinha gostado ... fiquei com vontade de chorar. Pela mulher do outro e por todas as que são alegremente enganadas sem sequer desconfiarem. Eu acredito piamente que à legítima nunca o caramelo ofereceu flores. E no entanto até devem ser um casal razoavelmente feliz. Ainda agora foram todos (Carlos, mulher legítima e filhos) passar as férias para o Algarve. Então porque raio estas bestas não conseguem manter as pilas dentro das calças e têm de andar a enfiá-las em todas as putas que lhes abrem as pernas? Porque diabo têm invariavelmente mais atenções para com as amantes do que para com as mulheres? Até porque quando são descobertos a grande maioria, se tiver hipótese, opta sempre por manter a família e mandar as amantes às urtigas?
É absolutamente exasperante.
Mas já sei que se não tivesse sido a cabra da Cláudia Gouveia, a tal que foi colega do Té no curso de formação de formadores e que depois trabalhou com ele na LTM (perdoem-me os pormenores mas se algum conhecido da rapariga ler isto não quero que fique com dúvidas ...) eu provavelmente não estaria tão sensível relativamente a este assunto. Já foi há muito tempo mas eu não esqueço. Tentei perdoar mas também não consigo. Pensei que a conversa séria que tive com o Té tinha resolvido mas não ... o que de facto não posso negar é que nunca mais gostei dele como gostava. Já não sinto aquela paixão incondicional e absoluta. De momento ainda o amo, mas só enquanto ele me der alguma atenção e me tratar bem. Dantes amava-o o suficiente para ultrapassar as faltas de atenção por mim e os excessos de atenção pelas outras. Agora já não. Apesar de tudo esforço-me por lhe lembrar que necessito de atenção. Ainda ontem lhe mandei um sms a pedir que me mandasse um email "simpático". Faço o que posso para manter a família unida.
Respondeu-me horas depois a dizer que hoje enviava ... e eu, mais uma vez, acreditei.
Bem, são 16h08. Ainda não chegou nada.

Chatice ... as hormonas!

2008-08-27T01:40:00.000-07:00

Tenho andado com um mau feitio ... é uma chatice. Devia estar, de acordo com as revistas, toda luminosa e só sorrisos. Parece que o meu corpo não anda a ler os mesmos artigos que eu. Estou positivamente furibunda.

Vou ser mãe!

2008-08-12T02:53:00.000-07:00

Confirmei hoje que vou ser mãe pela 3ª vez! Estou super feliz!

La Despedida

2008-07-07T07:12:00.000-07:00

Ya estoy curado, anestesiado
ya me he olvidado de ti
Hoy me despido
de tú ausencia
ya estoy en paz...

Ya no te espero
ya no te llamo
ya no me engano
Hoy te he borrado
de mi paciencia
Hoy fui capaz...

Desde aquel día
en que te fuiste
yo no sabía
que hacer de ti
Ya están domados
mis sentimientos
mejor así...

Hoy me he burlado
de la tristeza
Hoy me he librado
de tu recuerdo
Ya no te extrano
ya me he arrancado
ya estoy en paz...
Ya estoy curado, anestesiado
ya me he olvidado
Ya estoy curado, anestesiado
ya me he olvidado

Te espero siempre mi amor
cada hora, cada día
Te espero siempre mi amor
cada minuto que yo viva

Te espero siempre mi amor
Sé que un día llegarás
Te espero siempre mi amor
-( cada hora, cada día )
Te espero siempre mi amor
- ( cada minuto que yo viva )
Te espero siempre mi amor
- (no me olvido y te quiero )
Te espero siempre mi amor
- ( Sé que un día llegarás )

Te espero siempre mi amor
- ( Sé que un día volverás )

Answering machine:
Hola Manu .......?.........
nada... solo para saber
si todo va bien...
nada...un beso muy fuerte

Hola Manu, soy Juanjo
Manu? Manu? Manu?
Bueno,pues mira,
no contestas, te mando un fax.
!Hasta luego!

Stupid girl

2008-06-13T01:24:00.000-07:00

You pretend you're high
You pretend you're bored
You pretend you're anything
Just to be adored
And what you need
Is what you get

Dont believe in fear
Dont believe in faith
Dont believe in anything
That you cant break

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted

What drives you on what drives you on
Can drive you mad can drive you mad
A million lies to sell yourself
Is all you ever had

Dont believe in love
Dont believe in hate
Dont believe in anything
That you cant waste

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Cant believe you fake it
Cant believe you fake it

Dont believe in fear
Dont believe in pain
Dont believe in anyone
That you cant tame

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
All you had you wasted
All you had you wasted

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Cant believe you fake it
Cant believe you fake it

You stupid girl
You stupid girl
Cant believe you fake it
Cant believe you fake it

You stupid girl

Serão os homens voyeurs desde sempre ou só quando começam a funcionar pior?

2008-05-31T07:41:00.000-07:00

Há uma coisa que me deixa perfeitamente embasbacada ... e olhem que eu até nem sou de ficar de boca aberta! Bem, talvez seja, depende muito do que venha a seguir. Mas o que é certo é que não entendo porque é que todos os homens recebem e reenviam emails de gajas nuas! Ele é a boazona que derrotou não sei que político, a neta do Gilberto Gil, a fiscal de linha de atributos extraordinários, a mulher de um qualquer futebolista do momento ... não importa! Desde que a gaja seja boa e se deixe fotografar é tiro e queda. Lá fazem eles powerpoints gigantescos, em que a senhora começa vestida e acaba a brindá-los com diferentes ângulos da sua famosa "rata", "passara", "passarinha","pombinha, "pachacha","pipi", "fofinha", "esfregãozinho bravo" ou à moda do chá das 5, "pudenda". Não pensem as minhas amigas que tal profusão de epítetos saiu da minha cabecinha ... tirei-os de umas das crónicas do meu amado MEC já com quase 20 anos (as coisas que eu lia quando era adolescente...). Se não souberem quem é o MEC é só perguntarem ...
O que é certo é que isto me incomoda. Imaginem vocês que após ter visto uns 20 powerpoints comecei a ter vontade de ter uma ratita nuazita e lisinha como as delas. E onde acabou esta vossa amiga? Na esteticista de pernas abertas a fazer depilação integral ... e porque é que a vossa amiga fez tal barbaridade? Porque simplesmente por acaso descobriu que o maridinho deve ser cliente assíduo de tão elevados powerpoints ... porque o cunhadinho por engano incluiu duas ou três vezes a vossa amiga na lista dos destinatários ... claro que ela foi "checar" a lista e descobriu lá o rapaz acima referido! E então começou a pensar que se calhar devia imitar estas meninas para despertar a atenção do macho... e o pior é que até tirou fotografias e mandou para o dito cujo !!! Teve alguma piada, deu alguma pica só tirar as fotografias ... mas sinceramente não me parece que repita.
Bom mas de facto não sei o que fazem estes tipos todos de meia idade e mais alguns na flor da idade, a babarem para cima de uma gajas que nunca olhariam para eles duas vezes. Ou se calhar até olhavam! Ou para tentar avaliar o seu espantoso perímetro abdominal ou para tentar ver quantos zeros leva a sua conta bancária ... bem, adiante. No meio da minha aturada investigação, entrei na playgirl só para ver se o contrário também surtiria efeito. Passo a explicar ... será que o reenvio de emails de gajos bons terá algum sucesso entre as miúdas? Assim que cheguei ... Minha Nossa Senhora. Logo na segunda visualização encontrei gajos com pilas tão grandes, mas tão grandes, mas tãããão grandes que dava a ideia que se se levantassem teriam de fazer grande esforço com os lombares só para se manterem na vertical. E eu que sempre achei que tinha tido muita sorte na vida ... bem, e se calhar tive, porque a única coisa de que me lembro neste momento é do cão da "Casa dos Espíritos". O tal que costumava chegar a casa com cadelitas de raça empaladas no "seu amigo". No final achei as fotografias de muito mau gosto, suspeitei de uma utilização fraudulenta do Paint Shop Pro e optei por mandar às minhas amigas um powerpoint que fiz com modelos da CK, com as pilinhas devidamente tapadas pelas cuequitas mas nem por isso sem muito charme. Elas adoraram ... mas suspeito que o mercado não venha a ter futuro.
Acrescente-se que reenviei para o maridão e para o cunhadito só para eles tomarem consciência que não são só eles a sonharem com a "perfeição" ...
Bom, apreciem a fotografia que vos deixo e tenham um bom fim de semana.
Para amanhã há mais.

Eu sou a melhor do mundo!

2008-05-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

Para que saibam! Nunca mais me vou preocupar com a concorrência! Principalmente com a concorrência de baixíssima qualidade que costumava ter! Mas atenção, exijo exclusivo absoluto! E quem não estiver de acordo ... arrisca-se a levar um belíssimo chuto no cú!

Hasta Siempre Comandante

2008-02-19T08:47:00.000-08:00

So Much Trouble In The World (Bob Marley & The Wailers)

2008-01-10T09:51:00.000-08:00

So much trouble in the world
So much trouble in the world
Bless my eyes this morning
JAH sun is on the rise once again
The way earthly things are going
Anything can happen

You see men sailing on their ego trips
Blast off on their spaceships
Million miles from reality
No care for you, no care for me
So much trouble in the world
So much trouble in the world
All you've got to do is give a little
Give a little, give a little
One more time ye-a-h! ye-ah!

So you think you have found the solution
But it's just another illusion
So before you check out your tide
Don't leave another cornerstone standing there behind
We have got to face the day, ooh we come what may
We the street people talking, we the people struggling

Now they are sitting on a time bomb
Now I know the time has come
What goes on top its comnig on down
Goes around comes around
So much trouble in the world
So much trouble in the world
So much trouble in the world
There is so much trouble, there is so much trouble
There is so much trouble
There is so much trouble in the world
There is so much trouble in the world

O meu primeiro amor ...(espero que não fiques com ciúmes ...)

2008-01-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

Deu-me alento nos piores momentos!

Às turras na escuridão

2008-01-10T07:03:00.000-08:00

Minhas caras amigas, voltei para mais uma palavritas. Não faço ideia sobre que vou escrever mas senti que talvez esta fosse uma solução para o grande, grande, grande vazio que sinto hoje. Andei a surfar pela net a tentar encontrar alguma informação quanto à abécola que destruíu o meu casamento. Bem, convém aqui esclarecer uma coisa … não foi propriamente o meu casamento que ela destruiu, foram mais as fundações. O que acontece é que eu deixei de ser louca pelo “maridão” … e francamente acho que era só o meu amor desmedido que impedia a sagrada instituição de naufragar. Agora que eu estou na corda banda … com o amo-te à esquerda e o odeio-te à direita … não sei até quando a relação se vai manter à tona. Enfim … continuo a sentir-me sufocada, sem vida própria, e muito, muito só. Pelo menos o trabalho tem corrido bem, mas é muito triste admitir que os momentos altos da minha vida vêm sempre acompanhados de gráficos, mesmo que sejam daqueles coloridos. E nem dá para entender … aparentemente tenho tudo, mas desde que o sujeito mandou aqueles e-mails lamechas à parvalhona que me sinto a mulher mais infeliz do Universo.
De cinco em cinco minutos vejo a flutuar à minha frente as palavras que lhe escreveu … eu apaguei os e-mails que me reenviaram mas pelos vistos ficaram gravados a fogo na minha memória. Coisa chata a memória … ataca-nos quando menos esperamos e ultimamente tem-me feito marejar de lágrimas os olhos nos sítios mais impróprios! Será que algum dia voltarei a ser feliz? Que fazer senão ir vivendo para o trabalho enquanto se adiam as decisões realmente importantes? Conto com a vossa ajuda nesta batalha árdua minhas amigas!

Boas Festas!

2007-12-31T04:37:00.000-08:00

Hoje é fin d'one
O gente no bem festejal
C'nos morabeza
No bem goza dess dia

Sonte di fin d'one
Ja p'di ké pa no honral
Na força di nos tradiçon
No ta perpetua ess alegria

Recordai recordai
Senhor Son Silvestre
No bem da Boas Festas pa tud gente
No bem da Boas Festas pa Cabo Verde

O k'sinfonia la na Baia
Oh irmon c'ma m'ta feliz
O k'sintonia num melodia
Cantode na som di mil voz
E o q'note
Tão doce e colorida

Partida

2007-11-29T09:57:00.000-08:00

Nha cretcheu ja`m s`ta ta parti
Oi partida sô bô podia separano
Nha cretcheu lavantá pam bem braçob
Lavantá pam bem beijob
Pam cariciob esse bô face.

Sel ta sirvi pa leval
Ma l`ta sirvi pa transportal
Caminho longe, separação
Ê sofrimento d`nhamor pa bô
Oi partida bô leval bô ta torná trazel.

Oi madrugada imagem di nh`alma
Ma nha cretcheu intrega`m sês lagrimas
Pam ca sofrê nem tchorá
Esse sofrimento ca ê sô pa mim
Oi partida bô ê um dor profundo.
Nha cretcheu ja`m s`ta ta parti
Oi partida sô bô podia separano
Nha cretcheu lavantá pam bem braçob
Lavantá pam bem beijob
Pam cariciob esse bô face.

Sel ta sirvi pa leval
Ma l`ta sirvi pa transportal
Caminho longe, separação
Ê sofrimento d`nhamor pa bô
Oi partida bô leval bô ta torná trazel.

Oi madrugada imagem di nh`alma
Ma nha cretcheu intrega`m sês lagrimas
Pam ca sofrê nem tchorá
Esse sofrimento ca ê sô pa mim
Oi partida bô ê um dor profundo.

Miss Perfumado

2007-11-29T08:42:00.000-08:00

E porque nem todos os dias se pode dizer mal dos outros, deixo-vos aqui minhas amigas uma das minhas músicas preferidas, da Diva dos Pés Descalços.

"A outra" ou "O dia em que o factor global de segurança do meu casamento desceu para 1,0"

2007-11-14T02:49:00.000-08:00

Um belo dia, quando a paixão da minha vida estava já bem implantada na sua terra de origem em busca de sucesso profissional, recebo um email de uma alma caridosa de endereço deviastervergonha@hotmail.com e que assinava Diana Ross. As minhas caras amigas devem imaginar facilmente a minha perplexidade… para além de nem sequer ter a certeza de que a referida senhora ainda se encontrava viva, também não me lembrava de ter feito algo que me envergonhasse. De maneira que me dispus a ler o email com a maior das curiosidades. Bem, minhas senhoras … senti um aperto no estômago que já não sentia desde o meu primeiro teste de Betão II. O meu mais que tudo andava a enganar-me com uma criaturinha tão vulgar que até arrepiava. Beleza média, inteligência média e tão, tão, tão “doce” que parecia que ia começar a chorar a qualquer momento. Não sei se conhecem o tipo … o mundo é tão mau para mim mas a culpa deve ser minha por isso o melhor é aguentar … aquelas pessoas do “oiiiiii” com um sorriso de compaixão por elas e pelo mundo sempre estampado na cara! Haja paciência! Mas não me levem demasiado a sério que isto é o despeito a falar … Desenvolveu-se entre mim e a Diana Ross uma relação unilateral, em que ela escrevia e eu lia e apagava, que foi dando os seus frutos. A sujeita tinha de alguma forma acesso à conta de email do prevaricador e fazia-me forward das provas mais interessantes. E eu cada vez me afundava mais. Para quem não conhece o meu maridinho … bem, eu estou convencida de que ele sempre me pôs os cornos com regularidade! Mas isso nunca me incomodou muito … porque sexo é uma necessidade e quase uma obrigação. É como lavar os dentes e tomar banho e fazer xixi … uns têm mais prazer que os outros, há até quem não goste, mas na globalidade todos os membros válidos (e não válidos) da sociedade acabam por o praticar com maior ou menor regularidade! É uma coisa que até podemos fazer com o cão da vizinha ou com o rapaz das pizzas, é tudo uma questão de necessidade e de oportunidade. Como o dito cujo foi sempre um mocinho com muitas necessidades e que de facto nunca deve ter gostado muito de mim …

(abro aqui um parênteses para explicar … eu sou maluca por ele, quando me apaixonei já há 15 anos parecia uma virose! Tantas voltas dei que acabei por o vencer pelo cansaço … e o facto de ter engravidado ajudou muito … mas olhem que não foi propositado!)

… dada a “contigência” nunca me preocupei muito com as quecas ocasionais que ele dava com outras e cheguei a conseguir rir-me de algumas situações caricatas. O meu sentido de humor tem-me ajudado muito ao longo do meu percurso com ele! Refiro aqui só duas para começarem a avaliar a peça …
Na passagem de ano 1997/1998 eu estava com uma barriga de 5 meses e fomos a uma festa africana de alta classe. Não se deixem enganar … eu gosto do meio, gosto da música, gosto do desprendimento … só não gostei das prostitutas, das faxineiras e dos traficantes que lá apareceram. Apareceu uma faxineira que se engraçou com ele e ele com ela … como estava pesada deixei correr. Quando reparei estavam já a roçar-se um pelo outro no meio da pista! Acreditem que não me enganei …. lembro-me perfeitamente como ele se roçava por mim quando ainda estava na fase do engate (sim …porque fui eu que o prendi mas ele que me engatou … claro que depois de me levar para a cama perdeu o interesse). Levantei-me, interrompi o casalzinho e disse-lhe que não queria que dançasse mais com a criatura. Bem … não imaginam a indignação! Sentia-se injustiçado… exigiu voltar para casa … e infelizmente não me lembro o que se passou depois, já não sei se voltou a sair ou não …
Isto do voltar a sair tem a ver com a passagem de ano de 1998/1999. Desta vez a festa foi na FEUP antiga, no bar dos alunos. A dada altura olha para mim com ar supostamente preocupado e diz … vamos para casa, estás com um aspecto cansado … devo dizer que fiquei feliz … pensei que estava preocupado comigo! Ainda não conhecia devidamente a peça! Levou-me a casa e … VOLTOU A SAIR! No dia seguinte, comecei a apanhar a roupa dele das cadeiras para por para lavar. Tinha para aí uns 5 preservativos no bolso da camisa!!!! Bem, ia morrendo! Abri uma garrafa de vinho do porto e bebia toda!!! Cortei todos os preservativos às tirinhas e fiz lacinhos rosados no gargalo da garrafa…depois fui colocá-la no topo da conduta do lixo para todos os vizinhos poderem ver … eheheheh! Quando ele chegou ainda teve o desplante de dizer que gostava de me ver assim quente e dar-me uma queca … eu não senti absolutamente nada, estava completamente anestesiada! Quando já me sentia melhor perguntei-lhe para que queria os preservativos e ele disse-me que foi o Nuno Gordo que lhe tinha pedido para lhos levar … e afinal porque é que trouxe as sobras para casa? Bem ou ele está convencida que eu sou burra … ou ele próprio não deve muito à inteligência!

Prontos … é assim que ele é!

Agora vou-vos contar, caras amigas, duas situações que se passaram também há uns anos, só para ilustrar a ternura que ele sente por mim. Mas vão ter de esperar por amanhã que afinal de vês em quando também tenho de trabalhar …

As coisas mais românticas que o meu marido me disse ...

2007-11-13T10:14:00.000-08:00

Ele é, de facto, um eterno romântico ... mas esta é a mais recente e das mais hilariantes.
Após uma ausência de mais de 4 meses, vou com a criançada visitá-lo. Logo numa das primeiras noites fomos os quatro juntos à Praça Nova ver a roda de capoeira. Como sempre, o eterno Houdini, desaparece e, como sempre, a eterna desconfiada (não sem motivo) agarra as crianças pela mão e vai atrás dele. Lá o encontrei, lado a lado com uma faxineira boazona. Para quem não sabe, faxineira é supostamente uma senhora da limpeza, mas algumas delas também se encarregam de puxar o lustro aos atributos dos maridos das patroas. Já estou mais ou menos habituada a este tipo de coisas mas, de todas as vezes, acho sempre que não faço aquilo que devia fazer. Desta vez voltei a fazer o que, mais tarde, voltei a achar que se calhar não tinha sido a melhor opção. Para o desarmar agarrei-me a ele. Eu sei que ele DETESTA ... mas deixou-se estar. Devia estar a cheirar o perigo no ar ... E ela ... bem, devo dizer que me surpreendeu, era uma autêntica fera! Posicionou-se atrás e veio roçar-se por ele! O que eu fiz a seguir foi por a mão no rabo do dito cujo para evitar que ela se roçasse ... e assim ficamos até ela se cansar. Ele depois foi comentar com os amigos ... eu ouvi! A mim parece-me que ele a andava a comer e que agora, pelo menos enquanto eu lá estava, queria disfarçar ... mas que ela não estava pelos ajustes. Fomos outra noite e ela voltou a aparecer ... mas eu não a deixei aproximar, até me envergonho só de pensar nas figurinhas que fiz! Nessa noite, já em casa, confrontei-o!
Ele fez-se de parvo, que também tinha achado estranho, que "até tinha comentado com os amigos que estas miúdas agora são muito assanhadas! Roçam-se por gajos que nunca viram mais gordos!". Pois, mente-me que eu gosto! Quando eu o conheci, até nem digo que tal não fosse possível! O tipo era mesmo, mas mesmo muito lindo! Mas agora precisa de perder pelo menos 20 kg e havia vários gajos não praça com muito melhores atributos para tirar a comichão à tipa. E depois remata com uma frase LIIINDA! Que ainda hoje me deixa sem ar! "Achas mesmo que te ia trocar por aquela faxineira" ... o meu coraçãozinho bate à espera de algo bonito e sentimental, se bem que possivelmente mentira ... mas não, ele não me desiludiu, brindou-me com o seu proverbial romantismo ... o que ele disse a seguir foi "tu deves ganhar para aí 25 vezes mais do que ela!" E então? Digam lá da vossa justiça ... é, ou não é, de uma mulher se babar? É, ou não é, o maior romântico depois do Elvis Presley? Minhas amigas, para ter sorte é preciso nascer com ela! Roam-se de inveja ...

Petit Pays (Cesária Évora)

2007-10-29T02:30:00.000-07:00

La na céu bo é um estrela

Ki ca ta brilha

Li na mar bo é um areia

Ki cata moja

Espaiod nesse monde fora

So rotcha e mar

Terra pobre chei di amor

Tem morna tem coladera

Terra sabe chei di amor

Tem batuco tem funana

Oi tonte sodade

Sodade sodade

Oi tonte sodade

Sodade sem fim

Petit pays je t'aime beaucoup

Petit petit je l'aime beaucoup

A tua Bruxa preferida reservou uma abóbora só para ti ...

2007-10-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

Greetings from FEUP

2007-10-26T06:49:00.000-07:00

Olá Fofinho!
E como está o menino hoje? Por cá o frio já chegou... como se pode ver pela fotografia acabadinha de tirar pela minha webcam! A vida corre-me bem! Computador novo, energia nova (o tratamento da anemia está-me a fazer tão bem...) e daqui a alguns dias software novo (pois é , por incrível que pareça o FLAC3D vs 3.1o está a chegar!). A única coisa desagradável é já cá não estares para partilhares connosco as boas notícias...mas paciência, todas as coisas más da vida são provisórias! Cheguei agora de um almoço geotécnico. Como podes ver pelo meu ar satisfeito comi muito bem ... Bacalhau com Broa e Tarte de Maçã com gelado... Os almoços de trabalho são sempre bons!
Algumas más notícias... o livro está esgotado e a calculadora científica também... Quanto ao livro creio que não há mais nada a fazer, mas vou continuar à procura da máquina... vou tentar os "flee market".
Fica bem! Dá cabo desses burocratas chatos! AMO-TE MUITO!

Venham o seguinte vídeo ... É extremamente educativo ;)

2007-10-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

Roda de capoeira na Praça Nova

2007-09-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

Esta é para a avó ...

2007-09-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

Avenida diagonal, em frente ao Palácio Real

2007-09-16T07:30:00.000-07:00

Reparem bem na indumentária do ciclista ... :)

Casa Batlló

2007-09-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

Algumas fotografias que tirei à Casa Battló, do Gaudi, durante o COMPLAS :)

Gaudi, no seu melhor ...

2007-09-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

Fotografias das Férias

2007-09-11T08:38:00.000-07:00

Perto do Centro Cultural

Roda de Capoeira na Praça Nova

Baía das Gatas

Numa árvore, em frente a casa

Em casa, a trabalhar (esta é para ti, Topa, seu descrente!)

No Colombinho

A minha princesa, a "atacar" o Mestre Carlos Xéxeu na roda de capoeira da Praça Nova

Em casa, antes da partida para a Laginha

Em casa dos primos

Aniversário da minha fofinha

O desespero da TACV

2007-09-11T03:54:00.000-07:00

Quem me conhece sabe que eu até nem sou pró-capitalista (pelo menos tento-me convencer de que não sou ...) mas eu diria que a TACV está a precisar ou de uma injecção de capital e competência ou do incentivo sempre certo de uma saudável concorrência. Mais uma vez, chegar à minha terra, transformou-se numa provação das piores.

Desde os atrasos de 8 horas no aeroporto da Cidade da Praia ...

Até às mudanças de horário, sem avisar os clientes, em São Pedro!

Mas correu tudo da melhor maneira ... apesar da seca! O pior foi o novo terminal em Lisboa ... Ficaram com as malas de metade dos passageiros do voo e "ofereceram-nos" em troca as malas de passageiros de outros voos ...

Para a próxima vou a nado.

A caminho!

2007-06-28T10:11:00.000-07:00

Na próxima segunda feira lá vamos nós! Espero que tudo corra bem e que consiga trabalhar bastante! Se tudo correr bem (entenda-se "se conseguir acesso" à internet !) vou tentar colocar aqui no blog algumas fotografias ... Logo veremos! Até ao meu regresso!

Filosofia de Vida ...

2007-06-21T01:44:00.001-07:00

Templo de Khajuraho (India)

2007-06-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

Praia de Santa Maria (Ilha do Sal)

2007-06-08T10:28:00.000-07:00

Ilha do Fogo (Vulcão)

2007-06-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

Os putos

2007-06-04T05:26:00.000-07:00

Uma bola de pano, num charco
Um sorriso traquina, um chuto
Na ladeira a correr, um arco
O céu no olhar, dum puto.

Uma fisga que atira a esperança
Um pardal de calções, astuto
E a força de ser criança
Contra a força dum chui, que é bruto.

Parecem bandos de pardais à solta
Os putos, os putos
São como índios, capitães da malta
Os putos, os putos
Mas quando a tarde cai
Vai-se a revolta
Sentam-se ao colo do pai
É a ternura que volta
E ouvem-no a falar do homem novo
São os putos deste povo
A aprenderem a ser homens.

As caricas brilhando na mão
A vontade que salta ao eixo
Um puto que diz que não
Se a porrada vier não deixo.

Um berlinde abafado na escola
Um pião na algibeira sem cor
Um puto que pede esmola
Porque a fome lhe abafa a dor.

(José Carlos Ary dos Santos)

Colours of my day (Psyko-Days)

2007-06-01T01:43:00.000-07:00

2007-05-31T12:30:00.000-07:00

Eu sei e você sabe
Já que a vida quis assim
Que nada nesse mundo levará você de mim
Eu sei e você sabe
Que a distância não existe
Que todo grande amor
Só é bem grande se for triste
Por isso meu amor
Não tenha medo de sofrer
Que todos os caminhos
Me encaminham a você.

Assim como o Oceano, só é belo com o luar
Assim como a Canção, só tem razão se se cantar
Assim como uma nuvem, só acontece se chover
Assim como o poeta, só é bem grande se sofrer
Assim como viver sem ter amor, não é viver
Não há você sem mim
E eu não existo sem você!

Vinicius de Moraes

Cabo Verde, mesmo verde ...

2007-05-29T09:56:00.000-07:00

Para quem acha que Cabo Verde é árido (e até há bem pouco tempo eu também achava), que é uma grande imensidão de castanho (e de facto quando se aterra no Aeroporto de Amílcar Cabral é essa a primeira impressão) deixo aqui umas fotografias da belíssima ilha de Santo Antão.

A meio caminho entre a Ribeira Grande e Porto Novo

Vale de Paúl

E o mar azul que eu adoro ...

2007-05-28T08:20:00.001-07:00

2007-05-28T08:03:00.000-07:00

Um dia aprendes…
“ Depois de algum tempo aprendes a diferença, a subtil diferença entre dar a mão e acorrentar a alma.
E aprendes que amar não significa apoiar-se, e que companhia nem sempre significa segurança.
E começas a aprender que beijos não são contratos e presentes não são promessas.
E começas a aceitar as tuas derrotas com a cabeça erguida e os olhos adiante, com a graça de um adulto e não com a tristeza de uma criança.
E aprendes a construir todas as estradas no hoje, porque o terreno de amanhã é incerto demais para os planos e o futuro tem o costume de cair em meio vão.
Depois de um tempo, aprendes que o sol queima se ficares exposto por muito tempo.
E aprendes que não importa o quanto te importes, algumas pessoas simplesmente não se importam…E aceitas que não importa quão boa seja uma pessoa, ela vai magoar-te de vez em quando, e tu tens de perdoá-la por isso.
Aprendes que falar pode aliviar dores emocionais.
Descobres que se levam anos para se construir confiança e apenas segundos para destrui-la, e que podes fazer coisa num instante, das quais te arrependerás para o resto da vida.
Aprendes que as verdadeiras amizades continuam a crescer mesmo a longas distâncias.
E o que importa não é o que tens na vida mas o que és na vida.
E que bons amigos são a família que nos permitiram escolher.
Aprendes que não temos de mudar de amigos se compreendermos que os amigos mudam, percebes que tu e o teu amigo podem fazer qualquer coisa, ou nada, e terem bons momentos juntos.
Descobres que as pessoas com quem mais te importas na vida são tomadas de ti muito depressa, por isso devemos deixar as pessoas que amamos com palavras amorosas, pode ser a última vez que as vemos.
Aprendes que as circunstâncias e os ambientes têm influência sobre nós, mas nós somos responsáveis por nós próprios.
Começas a aprender que não te deves comparar com os outros, mas com o melhor que tu próprio podes ser.Descobres que levas muito tempo a tornares-te na pessoa que queres e que o tempo é curto.
Aprendes que não importa onde já chegaste, mas aonde vais, mas ou tu controlas os teus actos ou eles te controlarão, e que ser flexível não significa ser fraco, ou não ter personalidade, pois não importa quão delicada e frágil seja uma situação, sempre existem dois lados.
Aprendes que heróis são aqueles que fizeram o que era preciso fazer, enfrentando as consequências.
Aprendes que a paciência requer muita prática, descobres que algumas vezes, a pessoa que esperas que te calque quando cais é uma das poucas pessoas que te ajuda a levantar.
Aprendes que a maturidade tem mais a ver com o tipo de experiências que tiveste e o que aprendeste com elas do que com quantos aniversários celebraste.Aprendes que nunca se deve dizer a uma criança que sonhos são tolices, poucas coisas são humilhantes e seria uma tragédia se ela acreditasse nisso.
Aprendes que quando se está com raiva, tens todo o direito de estar com raiva, mas isso não te dá o direito de ser cruel.Descobres que só porque alguém não te ama da maneira que queres que te ame, não significa que esse alguém não te ame, pois existem pessoas que nos amam, mas não sabem como demonstrar isso.
Aprendes que nem sempre é suficiente ser perdoado por alguém, algumas vezes tens de aprender a perdoar-te a ti mesmo.Aprendes que com a mesma severidade com que julgas serás em algum momento condenado.Aprendes que não importa em quantos pedaços o teu coração foi partido, o mundo não pára para o consertar.Aprendes que o tempo não é algo que possa voltar a trás.
Portanto, planta o teu jardim e decora a tua alma, ao invés de esperar que alguém te traga flores.
E aprendes que realmente podes suportar… que realmente és forte, e que podes ir muito mais longe depois de pensares que não podes mais.
E que realmente a vida tem valor e tu tens valor diante da vida!
As nossas dúvidas são traidoras e fazem-nos perder o bem que poderíamos conquistar se não fosse o medo de tentar.”
William Shakespeare

Desilusao dum amdjer (Cesária Évora)

2007-05-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

Foi onte qui nha amor
Nasce feliz pa bo
Ma hoje sem piedade
Bo despadaca ess nha mundo
Quando sem do
Bo dixa nha alma n'agonia
Cu dor sem esperanca nem fe

M'sofre grande afronta
D'familia e de tude quel povo
Es tch'ma 'me amdjer di rua
Qu'm tava sempre na rua
Ma 'm guenta tudo
C'forca d'sentimento
Pamode bo dixa 'me perde luta

Assim 'm ta pidi mar
Pa'I leva 'me pa 'me ca volta
Pa 'me ba vive isolada
Num mundo di treva
E ca lembra nh'amor pirdide

Oh Deus da nha alma um sossego
'M ca magoa ninguem
Pamode e mim qu'ta sofre
Ijda 'me oia realidade
Alivia ess nha dor
P'm ba vive um vida novo

Oh Deus da nha alma um sossego
'M ca magoa ninguem
Pamode e mim qu'ta sofre
Ijda 'me oia realidade
Alivia ess nha dor
Mim tambem 'm tem direito
Di ser feliz
Li na terra

O que nos faz sentir bem ... quase sempre é um equivoco!

2007-05-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

Monte Verde - Ponto mais alto de São Vicente

2007-05-22T05:24:00.000-07:00

Monte Cara - São Vicente

2007-05-22T05:23:00.000-07:00

2007-05-22T05:04:00.000-07:00

Estrela fatal

Parcen’ ma és sofrimentu dja cabâ
Dipôs di tantu tempu tâ sofré
Djâ surgi um estrela fatal
Qui tâ lumian’ céu di nha bida

Tanto tempu
Nha amor vaguea errante
Tanto tempu
Nha coração desprezádu
Mi só sem amor di alguém
Dixan’ dorábu cretcheu
Bô qu’ é santa di nha altar

Câ bu dixan’ flábu concretamente
U qui n’ tâ xinti na alma, pâ bó
Pâ bó nha amor é divera
Singular cuma bu surizu